


Zapped!

by Tish



Category: The Goodies (TV)
Genre: Beans Meanz Heanz, Gen, M/M, Mad Scientists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/pseuds/Tish
Summary: Graeme's new invention causes the usual havoc. Read on if you're interested, I'm not going to spill the beans.
Relationships: Graeme/Tim (The Goodies)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Zapped!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deepandlovelydark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepandlovelydark/gifts).



“Hold that, Bill!”

“What is it?” Bill asked, as Graeme shoved a length of copper coil into his hands.

“Thank you, this is my new invention. It's a very delicate piece of mini-micro electronics,” Graeme answered as he connected one end of the coil into his super-computer.

“It's six foot long,” Bill held up the coil.

“Maxi-micro, then. But still very delicate!” Graeme replied as he repeatedly slammed a mallet into the connector plate. “Right, next bit!”

Bill stood holding the other end of the coil as Graeme took out a dome-shaped object on wheels from a cupboard, a length of brightly coloured cloth draped over it. “What's that, a Dalek? And is that our tablecloth, I was wondering where it went.”

Graeme stared witheringly at Bill. “No, this is a highly technical piece of equipment which will form a vital part of my experiment, and yes, it is the tablecloth.”

Bill made a mock-impressed face as Graeme dramatically paused, ready to tear the cloth away. Bill's mock-impressed face rapidly changed to derision as soon as the tablecloth was pulled away. “That's a hairdryer.”

Graeme said through clenched teeth, “Bill, this is a heat induction unit capable of microwaving an entire seven course meal in ten seconds flat.”

“Fair enough, a heat induction unit that says Rene's Hair Salon on the back,” Bill said as he dramatically swept his hand along the faded logo. 

“Alright, I got the basic casing from the salon, but all the innards are mine,” Graeme admitted.

“So we're cooking tea tonight in that?” Bill asked warily. “It's not gonna go spectacularly wrong like all your other experiments, is it?”

Graeme shook his head, then nodded. “Yes, and no.”

“Better go shopping, then,” Bill happily said as he got the string shopping bags.

`\@-=-@+

Tim suddenly woke, the bath water having gone cold. He pulled away his inflatable collar and pillow, took off his water-wings and got out the bath. Towelling off, he gave a shout. “Bill, what's for tea? Bill? Graeme!”

Silence.

Towel tightly clutched around him, he opened the bathroom door a crack and peeked out. “Where they gone, then?” Tim asked himself as he shut the door and got dressed, pausing to admire his new Union Jack waistcoat in the mirror.

Distracted by the limp state of his hair, he rummaged for the hair dryer in the drawer. “Bill, where's the hair dryer?” 

Silence. 

Tim opened the bathroom door again, gasping as he spotted the salon dryer across the room. “Oh, and it's not even my birthday! Let's try it out!

`\@-=-@+

Down at the Co-Op, the lights went out, and Graeme and Bill blinked in the sudden gloom.

“More power cuts,” muttered Graeme as he took off his watch and pressed a button, sending a warm beam of light out around them.

There was a yell from the front of the supermarket. “The tills are off!”

Bill shouted, delighted. “Free food, up the revolution!”

Graeme glared at Bill. “Shut up, I want my Green Shield stamps!”

“I can tell you where to stick your stamps, mate,” Bill muttered as he began shoving frozen food into his basket, unsuccessfully battling off seasoned housewives with the same idea.

`\@-=-@+

“Bloody Nora, we should have went to one of those posh supermarkets, we were lucky to get out in one piece,” Bill complained as he opened the door to Goodies HQ. Instantly, he stopped and cackled with laughter.

“Shut up, you little oink! I'm lucky to be alive!” Tim's squeaky voice came from inside.

Graeme dropped the shopping and dashed inside, colliding with a doubled-over Bill. “Oh no, you didn't?”

“He did,” Bill wheezed in between giggles.

Silhouetted against the window, Tim's hair stood out in stiff spikes, face burnt and eyes watery with tears. “I only wanted to dry my hair and it all blew up,” he blubbered.

“Blew up the whole of Cricklewood, there's little old ladies looting and pillaging and starting bonfires,” Bill said triumphantly. “Blimey, where's the stuff we nicked?”

As Bill raced out to grab the bags, Graeme cautiously approached Tim. “I hope there's no permanent damage,” he said softly, one hand reaching out.

Tim sniffled bravely. “I think I'll be okay,” he started, stopping abruptly as Graeme caressed the ~~hair dryer~~ heat induction unit.

“Graeme!” Tim sobbed and grabbed his arm. There was another flash and all the power in the neighbourhood came back on.

“Ruddy 'eck, those grannies don't half run fast,” Bill huffed as he came back inside holding two long broken strings. “We've nothing for tea now!”

Silence.

Bill looked up from the fragments of his shopping bags to see Graeme and Tim seemingly fused to the ~~hair dryer~~ heat induction unit, Graeme's hair as well as his hamster muttonchops sticking out in spikes, face burnt like Tim's. 

Howls of laughter echoed around Goodies HQ the pillaged ruins of Cricklewood.

`\@-=-@+

“You two cheered up yet?” Bill asked as he dished out tea from the tiny tin of beans he'd found in the street.

“No,” came the simultaneous reply.

“It's your own fault, why didn't you put a sign over it, WARNING SUPER DANGEROUS MAD SCIENTIST ZAPPER AND BLACK AND WHITE MINSTREL MAKE-UP MACHINE?” Bill muttered into his bowl.

“It's not my fault!” Tim shrieked, dumping his bowl over Bill's head.

“I didn't say it was, it was _him_ ,” Bill jabbed his spoon at Graeme, ignoring his new head covering.

Tim pouted, then stared at the beans running down Bill's head. “I've got no dinner now,” he whined.

Graeme sighed and pushed his own bowl across. “Here. Sorry.”

“Thank you.” Tim teared up, touched by the gesture. He rolled the bowl in a small circle, then promptly tipped it over Bill's head.

“Right,” Bill snapped, scraping the beans into his bowl, “I'm having me tea in the bath!”

He stomped away, leaving Graeme and Tim laughing and staring at each other. He didn't see their hands touch, or the flash that filled the room just as he closed the bathroom door.

Graeme had felt the connection between them, and the sparks weren't just from the ~~hair dryer~~ heat induction unit. Tim felt the electricity between them, even after they'd pried themselves from the ~~hair dryer~~ heat induction unit.

Their first kiss blew out the power again, not that they even noticed, not even the moan of "oh Ecky Thump!" that came from the bathroom.


End file.
